So I decided, on this last day of the worst year of my life, that I'm making some changes, too! I'm not trying to look at these decisions as resolutions, because for me, ike many of you gentle readers, resolutions have a sneaky way of getting broken rather quickly. I'm making these changes to improve the quality of my life - spiritually, emotionally, and physically. So, these are the things I'm going to try to commit to in 2013...
1. Lose 32 pounds by my 32nd birthday! This gives me 10 1/2 months to gradually lose weight by making healthier choices daily - not by starving myself (pfft, like that ever works anyway). It also filters in time for me to make mistakes (hello, Grandma's butter cookies!) and slowly adjust to comsuming less calories. If I were a more determined person, I could accomplish this more quickly, but I know myself. THIS is the way to set myself up for success! My resources include my friends on MyFitnessPal, an app/website that helps count calories and connect me with other like-minded people. In addition, I'm trying to bake more of my own sweet treats, rather than buy them, so I am more conscious of what ingredients go into them. My reasons for this goal include: avoiding the health problems that plague my family (diabetes, heart disease, etc.) and having more self-confidence. I am also hoping that, by becoming healthier, my chances for having a successful full-term pregnancy may increase. The doctors have run many tests on me and there is nothing "wrong" with me, but it can't hurt either, can it?
|Dear Jesus: Thank You that these |
things have gone out of style...
3. Make God my number one priority. I love Jesus. I've been a Christian for (now, I think it's official) over half of my life. But it's becoming increasingly easy for my to put other things first. I want to reverse that trend and make more time for the Lord in my daily life. I know there's not a simple trick to this. But I'm asking God to help me fall in love with Him again first. Everything else will follow.
4. Keep my friends close. I have been blessed with a number of wonderful, supportive, funny, beautiful and loving friends. Yet during the past year - probably because of all the trauma we've endured - I've found myself pulling away from companionship. Part of it deals with that self-consciousness issue I mentioned above. Am I just the "funny fat friend"? Am I really cool enough to be hanging out with these incredible girls? I am realizing that asking myself those questions is actually a sign that I need to spend less time alone. Because who thinks like that? No one should! My goal is to try to spend a little time with one (or more) of my girlfriends at least every two weeks. Even if it's an hour-long stop at Starbucks between one woman's mommy duties. It would really benefit me to get out of the house, anyway!
5. Get. A. Job. This is probably the most urgent of my goals, for financial reasons as well as psychological ones. I thought that being unemployed would mean that I would have more time and opportunity to work on my hobbies and take care of the house. Well, it did. But being unemployed certainly didn't suddenly give me the desire to wipe counters or scrub toilets. Why did I think that it would? I have no idea. I need a job to help support Ross in taking care of our financial needs, but I also need a job to give myself more structure and human interaction - even on the days when I prefer my pets over other people! I should mention that I have received a few offers and am still considering some of them, but right now I'm still waiting on hearing from My Dream Job with the Carnegie Library. (Those of you who pray may want to offer up a few pleas for me, since I really feel this is the perfect fit for me, but I probably won't hear anything until the end of this week at the earliest!)
|Still not quite sure how I landed such an amazing guy!|
6. Be a better wife. It's not about being more submissive, or more meek, or more docile. I want to be a better support for my husband, who is truly the greatest man in the world to me. I want to learn how to compromise more effectively, love him in the ways that best encourage him, and help him reach his own goals. I'm not saying I haven't done that in the past (almost) three years, but I know in my heart that I can do better. Step one: we both need to out down the iPhones and talk to each other. I refuse to let technology weaken my marriage!
Wow. Looking back over everything I just wrote makes 2013 look like a year with a lot of challenges in it! But I am trusting God that he will help me meet them all head-on. I'm really excited to leave 2012 behind me and shake its dust off my feet. It was a sharp and ugly bend in the road, but it's not the end, and I am truly beliving that the months ahead will be smoother, clearer, and more straight-forward a drive on the highway of life!
God knows I need it!
Best wishes, blessings and a joy-filled 2013 to all of you. Thanks for the support over the past few years. I look forward to entertaining you for many more years to come. Unless all the technology changes again; then we'll have to do this all telepathically or something.
I guess I'm okay with that. Happy New Year!