Perspective

If you haven't heard about Kim Kardashian's multi-million dollar wedding and subsequent divorce proceedings, well, you're probably Amish (or my husband, who shuns social media as much as possible and who still thinks the Kardashians are aliens on Star Trek).  And I'm jealous of you.

Here's the thing.  I really didn't want to discuss this sort of thing at all - not on my blog, not in person, not anywhere.  Too much has already been said; too many hurtful, judgmental words, and too much arrogant criticism...especially by Christians.

I was disturbed to read that a Christian leader whom I greatly admire had shot off a few snarky comments on Twitter about the state of Ms. Kardashian's marriage, and about celebrities in general.  What was said was both perceptive and accurate...but it was also unnecessary and not helpful.  And it made me stop and think about my initial reaction to the whole debacle.  I had joined in on the discussion around the water cooler, denouncing the Kardashian family's lifestyle, bemoaning the fact that, for $20 million, whole villages in Africa could have eaten for months, or hundreds of battered women in big cities could have been given safety, or reconstruction and rescue attempts could continue in Turkey.  I had scathingly agreed that the two couldn't possibly have attended any type of pre-marital counseling, because any self-respecting counselor would have, despite their celebrity status, warned them to proceed very cautiously.  I shook my head as I said, aloud, that my goal was to have my future children grow up in a world where they would have to ask, "Who were the Kardashians?" because such lavish celebrity lifestyles would have long since vanished.

But, after hearing from some other Christian sources who advocated prayer for Kim and Kris, I had to rethink my stance.  I still believe that the wedding had been an obscene waste of money, and that the whole "famous-for-being-famous" trend simply has to stop, but now I'm starting to wonder...why wasn't sympathy my first response to this situation?  No, I don't know them.  No, I can't fathom what it is like to have more money than I could ever properly spend.  No, I am not photographed for endorsements and advertisements, nor do I have my name attached to lines of perfume, clothing, and make-up.  But, like Kim, I longed for a fairy tale romance.  Granted, that's surely where the similarities end (oh, and I had to get x-rays of my butt, too, to prove that I am totally the real deal), but what if I had friends whose new marriage was crumbling?  Maybe there had been some deception, or some disappointment, or a tragedy that one of the spouses had never needed to deal with before. 

Frankly, I am sure that there are couples whose marriage fell apart over what Ross and I had to endure this year.  It's so easy to blame, to accuse, to condemn when something horrific happens - a death or an accident.  Our faith alone allowed us to grow closer together in the midst of great sorrow.

Maybe celebrities are at no higher a risk for divorce than the rest of us, but their troubles are surely more available for us to review.  Just as one would examine a fine collectible up for auction, we appraise them, prod them, poke them, and finally, sit back and make our offer.  "Shameful," we finally sigh.  "Terrible home life."  "Wasteful."  "All beauty, no brains."  "Is this the best you can do?"

I am fairly certain that I would have made entirely different lifestyle choices if I had Kim Kardashian's looks, money, or fame.  But then again, I couldn't promise that, could I?  I am not excusing anything she has done.  I stand by my belief that, even if her marriage had lasted, the money spend on the wedding would have been wasted.  I still maintain that the American public's morbid fascination with Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, and the Kardashians needs to stop.   It's not doing us - or the celebrities - any real good.  Still, Kim Kardashian is a person.  I don't know her character or her nature, but God knows her and loves her and does want the best for her.  I just have a feeling that his idea of the best and hers are very different. 

I also have a feeling that his idea is much, much better.

Open your eyes, Ms. Kardashian.  There's so much more to life.