Last week, I had the opportunity to visit my sister in Edinboro. Because she doesn't drive and our schedules rarely mesh (she works odd hours for the food industry and, until recently, I was working daylight hours), we see each other maybe once a year. I decided to capitalize on having a completely open schedule and see if there would be a good time to visit her.
Lo and behold; there was!
Last Wednesday, after my husband insisted I have my car's oil changed, I drove for two lovely and autumnal foliage-filled hours up to my sister's place. As I had some time completely to myself, I prayed a bit and asked God for direction. I asked him to help me to do the things I know he has called me to do - mostly, to write. I have two ideas for novels that I really believe have come from him, and I love to write, but I find it very difficult to set aside blocks of time to write and edit. It's like, I will get these kicks where I sit and whole scenes or ideas just flow through me and I am so proud of myself, and feel so accomplished...but then I will allow days to pass before I even think of writing again. I hate that about myself. I'm pretty sure, though, I am not the only person who feels like that in one way or another. Some folks might feel that way about other crafts or hobbies, or exercise (yeah, I'm in that boat, too), or maybe about cooking or baking (you know what I mean...the day-long epic cookie/muffin/bread marathon...then nothing home-made for months).
And, in a way that I haven't experienced for some time, God answered me: immediately, lovingly, and boldly.
The road to Edinboro is littered with mediocre country music, talk radio, and a handful of crummy pop stations. I spent a good 25 minutes just flipping between stations, trying to find something decent that wasn't marred by static. I caught the word "discipline" on a Christian broadcast and thought maybe I should keep listening. The speaker was Chip Ingram. I hadn't really heard of him before, but his message was powerful and completely relevant for my current situation.
His short sermon, which was geared toward a small-group setting, was about discipline, goal-setting, and that much-despised concept in today's society: delayed gratification. The main thrust of the message was a very simple but eye-opening one - for me, at least. It was this: self-control and discipline are not about denying ourselves so much as they are about foregoing temporal pleasures for a much more wonderful future goal.
This really hit home for me because I really struggle with instant gratification. If I come into money, I want to spend it immediately. It's not always on frivolous, selfish treats, mind you, but I'm more likely to buy a few cute pairs of cheap, trendy shoes than I am to save up for a really classy, well-made pair. And, as for dieting, well, can I get an "amen"? It's so hard for me to envision a future where I really am my ideal weight, and where food is more about satisfation and nutrition than about "OMGthisissogoodIneedtoeatthewholeboxrightnow".
Chip's message was about forgetting the idea that we are depriving ourselves - whether it is with food, pleasure, free time, whatever. Instead, we are making a "down payment" on a goal that, for us, is much more important and, ultimately, satisfying, than whatever it is we're currently denying. I think that might really help with healthier eating. For example, cookies really taste delicious, but my goal is to be healthy and avoid the health problems that plague my family. Since the cookie doesn't contribute to that goal, it gets skipped over - or, at least, consumed in moderation. This could apply to the job market, too. For people who want to move ahead in their fields or move into new ones, reviewing each potential new task this way could really help. If it's optional, of course. I'm hardly saying to say "no" to staying late one night because it's not in your ultimate plan.
For me, my ultimate goal in this lifetime is to be a full-time writer. (Okay, it's really to be a mom, but it seems like those plans are on hold right now.) I want to publish the family-friendly plays I have written. I want to finish the stories and novels I have constantly banging around in my head.
For me, the hindrances are...well, yeah. Facebook. Instagram. Wikipedia. The internet: the tool that I could be using as a force for good, um, is using me as a force for apathy and obsession and otherwise diffusing the well-meant dedication I always have when I start out.
I like thinking about self-discipline this way. It's not about punishing ourselves for having desires. It's denying the immediate "wants" so that the ultimate result is much, much more satisfying. It's about putting the flesh on hold so that it can truly and wholly enjoy what is on the way.
To that end, I'm going to write reminders to myself and post them all over my house. Even on my mirrors. So that when I get ready in the morning (or whenever I get around to getting ready), I can look myself in the eye and say, "Don't settle for less than the best. Even if it takes a while to get here!"
Showing posts with label discipline. Show all posts
Showing posts with label discipline. Show all posts
Monday, October 29, 2012
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Are You Even WEARING Underwear?
Because my sensible but flattering panties offer more coverage than your super-tight booty shorts do.
Yes, little super-cute 89-pound 12-year-old girl getting frozen yogurt at the mall. I am talking to you. Unless you are auditioning for America's Next Top Superhero, you should not be wearing Speedo bottoms as outerwear.
Dear Lord, where's the modesty?
Please don't assume that I'm just a cranky, angry, overweight judgmental hag who loathes nubile young women with healthy, perfect creamy skin and long, lean legs. Although I never had the "ideal" teenager's body, and I can't honestly say what I would have worn if I had possessed one, I can firmly say that the clothing options for young girls today are absolutely ridiculous.
We criticize women for dressing in ways that are too revealing, suggesting that the clothing they themselves wear is the cause of sexual assaults, and yet all we offer them to wear are short shorts, paper-thin shirts, string-strapped camisoles and Dorito-sized bikinis. The trend starts young, never even giving a toddler the chance to cover her knees! As soon as the onesies are outgrown, we stuff little girls into too-tight dresses and suggestive t-shirts like this one (no, I am not suggesting that cheerleading is the enemy, just sexualizing it is). Then, when we sign them up for dance class, they're squeezed into this. Does a 6-year-old really need to be sporting go-go boots?
Don't get me started on this whole toddler beauty pageant thing.
We are robbing our children of their childhoods.
What breaks my heart is how quickly kids are growing up these days. When I was 13, I barely understood a single sexual innuendo that was coarsely tossed across the school cafeteria. These days, nine-year-olds are flipping off their parents and five-year-olds have learned that the "f" word is more effective that saying "please". Younger and younger girls are getting pregnant, and younger and younger boys are running away, too afraid to man up and become fathers. Apathy has set in like a silent plague as even the children in my church class whip out cell phones and text during the message.
Although clothing was a lead-in, what I really mean to say is that the trend I am seeing nowadays is that parents are taught, by the media and society, how not to be parents. They are taught not to discipline their children, because spanking is evil and abusive. They are taught not to pry or push too hard when it comes to serious matters, because that might would a tween's delicate sense of privacy. We can't make the strong suggestion to our teenagers that they should abstain from sex, because, unless we supply them with condoms and/or abortions, they will become have it anyway and become careless unwed mothers and or absent fathers.
We can't be their parents because we are too busy being their friends.
I apologize if the tone of this message is too sarcastic or bitter. I am just aching inside to see parents - and other mentors - rise up and care enough about children, rather than their own images or feelings, to lovingly discipline, patiently teach, and gently encourage the next generation. I know I have failed in this area. There are young women I have met who I wanted to reach, and even though it is true that each person must choose his or her own way...I think I could have made a difference, but I didn't commit like I needed to. I pray that, when the time comes for me to be a mother, I will be brave and obedient enough to teach my children to seek wisdom, love modesty, treasure friendship and, above all, worship God.
Yes, little super-cute 89-pound 12-year-old girl getting frozen yogurt at the mall. I am talking to you. Unless you are auditioning for America's Next Top Superhero, you should not be wearing Speedo bottoms as outerwear.
Dear Lord, where's the modesty?
Please don't assume that I'm just a cranky, angry, overweight judgmental hag who loathes nubile young women with healthy, perfect creamy skin and long, lean legs. Although I never had the "ideal" teenager's body, and I can't honestly say what I would have worn if I had possessed one, I can firmly say that the clothing options for young girls today are absolutely ridiculous.
We criticize women for dressing in ways that are too revealing, suggesting that the clothing they themselves wear is the cause of sexual assaults, and yet all we offer them to wear are short shorts, paper-thin shirts, string-strapped camisoles and Dorito-sized bikinis. The trend starts young, never even giving a toddler the chance to cover her knees! As soon as the onesies are outgrown, we stuff little girls into too-tight dresses and suggestive t-shirts like this one (no, I am not suggesting that cheerleading is the enemy, just sexualizing it is). Then, when we sign them up for dance class, they're squeezed into this. Does a 6-year-old really need to be sporting go-go boots?
Don't get me started on this whole toddler beauty pageant thing.
We are robbing our children of their childhoods.
What breaks my heart is how quickly kids are growing up these days. When I was 13, I barely understood a single sexual innuendo that was coarsely tossed across the school cafeteria. These days, nine-year-olds are flipping off their parents and five-year-olds have learned that the "f" word is more effective that saying "please". Younger and younger girls are getting pregnant, and younger and younger boys are running away, too afraid to man up and become fathers. Apathy has set in like a silent plague as even the children in my church class whip out cell phones and text during the message.
Although clothing was a lead-in, what I really mean to say is that the trend I am seeing nowadays is that parents are taught, by the media and society, how not to be parents. They are taught not to discipline their children, because spanking is evil and abusive. They are taught not to pry or push too hard when it comes to serious matters, because that might would a tween's delicate sense of privacy. We can't make the strong suggestion to our teenagers that they should abstain from sex, because, unless we supply them with condoms and/or abortions, they will become have it anyway and become careless unwed mothers and or absent fathers.
We can't be their parents because we are too busy being their friends.
I apologize if the tone of this message is too sarcastic or bitter. I am just aching inside to see parents - and other mentors - rise up and care enough about children, rather than their own images or feelings, to lovingly discipline, patiently teach, and gently encourage the next generation. I know I have failed in this area. There are young women I have met who I wanted to reach, and even though it is true that each person must choose his or her own way...I think I could have made a difference, but I didn't commit like I needed to. I pray that, when the time comes for me to be a mother, I will be brave and obedient enough to teach my children to seek wisdom, love modesty, treasure friendship and, above all, worship God.
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