Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Are You Even WEARING Underwear?

Because my sensible but flattering panties offer more coverage than your super-tight booty shorts do.

Yes, little super-cute 89-pound 12-year-old girl getting frozen yogurt at the mall.  I am talking to you.  Unless you are auditioning for America's Next Top Superhero, you should not be wearing Speedo bottoms as outerwear.

Dear Lord, where's the modesty?

Please don't assume that I'm just a cranky, angry, overweight judgmental hag who loathes nubile young women with healthy, perfect creamy skin and long, lean legs.  Although I never had the "ideal" teenager's body, and I can't honestly say what I would have worn if I had possessed one, I can firmly say that the clothing options for young girls today are absolutely ridiculous.

We criticize women for dressing in ways that are too revealing, suggesting that the clothing they themselves wear is the cause of sexual assaults, and yet all we offer them to wear are short shorts, paper-thin shirts, string-strapped camisoles and Dorito-sized bikinis.  The trend starts young, never even giving a toddler the chance to cover her knees!  As soon as the onesies are outgrown, we stuff little girls into too-tight dresses and suggestive t-shirts like this one (no, I am not suggesting that cheerleading is the enemy, just sexualizing it is).  Then, when we sign them up for dance class, they're squeezed into this.  Does a 6-year-old really need to be sporting go-go boots?  

Don't get me started on this whole toddler beauty pageant thing.

We are robbing our children of their childhoods.

What breaks my heart is how quickly kids are growing up these days.  When I was 13, I barely understood a single sexual innuendo that was coarsely tossed across the school cafeteria.  These days, nine-year-olds are flipping off their parents and five-year-olds have learned that the "f" word is more effective that saying "please".  Younger and younger girls are getting pregnant, and younger and younger boys are running away, too afraid to man up and become fathers.  Apathy has set in like a silent plague as even the children in my church class whip out cell phones and text during the message.

Although clothing was a lead-in, what I really mean to say is that the trend I am seeing nowadays is that parents are taught, by the media and society, how not to be parents.  They are taught not to discipline their children, because spanking is evil and abusive.  They are taught not to pry or push too hard when it comes to serious matters, because that might would a tween's delicate sense of privacy.  We can't make the strong suggestion to our teenagers that they should abstain from sex, because, unless we supply them with condoms and/or abortions, they will become have it anyway and become careless unwed mothers and or absent fathers.

We can't be their parents because we are too busy being their friends.

I apologize if the tone of this message is too sarcastic or bitter.  I am just aching inside to see parents - and other mentors - rise up and care enough about children, rather than their own images or feelings, to lovingly discipline, patiently teach, and gently encourage the next generation.  I know I have failed in this area.  There are young women I have met who I wanted to reach, and even though it is true that each person must choose his or her own way...I think I could have made a difference, but I didn't commit like I needed to.  I pray that, when the time comes for me to be a mother, I will be brave and obedient enough to teach my children to seek wisdom, love modesty, treasure friendship and, above all, worship God.

6 comments:

  1. I disagree with the need to spank as a solution. All that teaches a small child is that is okay to hit when they don't get their way. There are definitely more creative ways to punish children that work much better. I have worked with a variety of children and noticed the parents that spanked had the most problems. We use time outs, take away toys, privileges and follow through. The most important thing is to actually follow through. I feel I must be doing something right because several people have told us how well behaved our son is. He understands he must not run around stores, always hold hands in public and eat nicely in restaurants. He knows if he doesn't do those things he will be take home. Before we got that point I have already told the waitress box the food, we are going home before we have eaten our meals. Now we are able to take our three year old to any style restaurant with out problems. To many people think spanking is the answer but really what do kids learn from that action?

    However I do agree with you on the clothing. I have a friend who works very hard to keep her kids age appropriate and it is extremely hard with the variety of clothing in stores.

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  2. Vanessa, I do see your point regarding spanking. If what you're doing works, then good for you and I applaud your determination to raise a respectful child! I should probably point out that my sisters and I were all spanked - very sparingly. I don't think it should be used as an automatic response to undesired behavior. Like anything that is overused, it loses its influence - plus, yes, it can lead to bad behavior and resentment. My mom, for example, was a yeller. Whenever she was angry, she yelled. After years, that became ineffectual because I was able to tune it out. I knew it was all hot air, that nothing would really come of it. The two things that really made me think about what I had done, however, were when my mother LOWERED her voice (that dramatic "I'm disappointed" whisper) and when I was either spanked, or threatened to be spanked. Both were infrequent, and I never grew up to think that hitting other people was a good thing. However, you must consider how I was raised altogether; I was not in an abusive home, like many spanked children are. I was not raised in a violent atmosphere. I was encouraged to do things to help me express my feelings in a healthy way: pray, write, read. I think you have to consider the whole picture, too, when it comes to spanking as a component of discipline - not the only route.

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  3. I have just seen too many people who spank their children who the kids are biters and hitters in school to even consider that course of action.

    Creative punishment is more memorable as well :) Taking away a favorite toy or privilege and letting them earn it back gets the point across. My parents were not spankers, They children who have all perused education past college including one attorney and none of us have committed any real crimes makes me. I feel strongly against spanking or hitting children. When Dylan was under a year old my Mother in Law hit his hands for touching the TV he hit back right away because they learn by example. They learn young. She was then TOLD we REMOVE small children from the situation and NEVER try that with my child again. If I wasn't a parent and didn't have experience in a variety of environments I may think like you but I defiantly see spanking is not the answer,

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  4. http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1983895,00.html

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  5. Again, I see your point, but I wonder if these studies factor in the entire picture of a child's upbringing. Sure, these children may be more prone to smacking other children later in life, but is being spanked that the single, only factor that leads to it? It cannot be. Are these parents making sure the child understands how much he or she is loved, or is spanking a tool to control and punish the child and withhold love? Spanking should not obliterate a child's self-confidence. And even if it allows self-confidence to wobble a bit, there should be plenty of love, encouragement and healthy displays of affection in a home in order to counteract that. Granted, I had issues with self-confidence growing up, but that wasn't a result of an infrequent spanking. It was a response to not having a dad around and to having a mom who worked very hard to keep things together, and who lost her temper frequently - mostly because of my bad attitude.

    I am not entirely disagreeing with you; I just want to know what factors go into researching these studies. The same attack that is launched against Christians ("you're only interpreting what you WANT the Bible to say!") can be applied to any and all surveys, studies, polls, quizzes and research projects. If you're looking for a specific answer, you'll find it, regardless of what the facts say (or don't say). I am sure the same can be said for pro-spanking arguments. I know I am by no means old or experienced, but I have come to the realization that so much scientific and social studies, especially as reported by the mainstream media, have such a clear agenda that I cannot always trust them. What do they NOT tell us? I know that was a bit of a rabbit-trail, but it's something I am finally coming to understand.

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  6. If I didn't see first hand a variety of kids/ homes from working as Therapeutic Support staff I may view the studies in the same manner as you. However as a parent I for one can not image every hitting my child or the actual lesson that could be learned from spanking him. There is no actual lesson to be learned from spanking. I for one could never hit my child nor could I ever respect a man that would.

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