Cornfields and Steel Mills

I just returned from my first-ever trip to the great and glorious state of Iowa.  It would not have been my first choice for a vacation, but that is where Ross's family lives, and so that is where we went.

We set out in the minivan with Ross's parents (no mother-in-law jokes here; I get along great with his family!) and drove a vast stretch of Interstate 80 (almost 800 miles' worth of it) to meet up with family in and around Riverside, Iowa.  There are a lot of differences between Iowa and Pennsylvania - far more than the landscapes and exports.  I did a little research of my own to determine how Riverside's local favorites compare to Pittburgh's.  Here we go...

 

VS.

Well, to be honest, there's nothing particularly dreamy or fashionable about either place.  They're full of gardening equipment, discount snacks, and local sports collectibles.  Which, actually, is why this is the only reason that Paul's wins out over Trader Horn:

 

Okay.  Next up we have a gourmand's dilemma.  Two strong, sodium-laden traditions, hundreds of miles apart...

VS.

All right.  This one was a genuine toughie.  The Maid-Rite sandwich (which is like a Sloppy Joe minus the tomato sauce) was pretty tasty, but really salty.  But then, the Primanti sandwich is pretty greasy.  And, frankly, I'd rather have a burger at Red Robin than anything else.  So this one is a draw.  If a really tasty salad can be a tie-breaker, though...this round goes to Maid-Rite.

Now, we can move on to the seriously important stuff: pop culture.  Let's see what these two iconic places offer for, say, the science-fiction fan...

VS.

 

Okay, is there even a question here?  A fantasy sci-fi series that takes place in Pittsburgh is, indeed, wicked cool...but you can't get more classic than the ultimate space-faring Casanova.  Iowa wins, hands down.  Note: the awesome action figure featured below is, sadly, not available at Riverside's "The Voyage Home Star Trek Museum".  I totally woulda bought it if it was.

And last, but not least, we have two beautiful, brilliant splashes of black 'n' gold: The Iowa Hawkeyes fan base and Pittsburgh's Steeler Nation...

VS.

Now, I may catch hell for saying this, but this is, without a doubt in my mind, a draw.  Let me explain: for being "only" a college team in the middle of absolutely nowhere, the Hawkeyes have an enthusiastic support base that is on par with the six-time Superbowl champs of the Steel City.  I mean...the Wal-Mart out there had a huge section devoted to nothing but really nice Hawkeye gear.  That's more than we can say for the two racks of discounted jerseys and ball caps in our stores.  So, even though it's a college team pitted against a professional one, I gotta say it's an even match, as far as the fans are concerned.  The nice thing is, I can say I bleed black and gold...and mean it for both teams!

So.  What have we learned here today?  It would appear that Iowa has an advantage over Pennsylvania, if we're talking about science fiction and salad.  But I was born and raised in the City of Bridges; I fell asleep to the sounds of the Parkway, I woke up to the scent of Cellone's Bakery, I learned, little by little, to navigate the impossible streets of the Steel City without a GPS, I've seen the Pirates actually win a few games.  I am still made breathless by the view coming out of the Fort Pitt tunnels, even on a cloudy day.  I still get excited when the fountain at The Point turns pink in October.  I wear my Yinzer badge with pride.  I am a product of this environment, and I wouldn't have it any other way.  Iowa may be nice for a vacation, but I sure wouldn't want to live there.


God bless you, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.