My Name is Not Eddie

My husband recently took on a part-time job in addition to his 40 hours a week as a career services advisor.  We have some financial needs.  It happens.  I don't see him much anymore, which is definitely not cool.  Tonight was the first time we'd get to eat dinner together in a week.

I know, my charming, clever, domestic self thought, I'll make my beloved hunk of man-candy something truly spectacular - an Eddie Dog!

If you lived in Clarion, PA, for any amount of time, you know what I'm talking about.  If not, then please go with me to a magical place that sparkles mysteriously in the starlight and only smells just the slightest bit of stale beer and regret.

The Hot Dog House was known affectionately as Eddie Dog's.  An Eddie Dog was also the product of said house.  You went to Eddie Dog's to buy an Eddie Dog.  Simple.  Which was good, because most of the people who went to Eddie Dog's were drunk.

It was only open between 9:00 PM and 2:00 AM.  It pretty much only sold about 4 different kinds of hot dogs and Coke products.  That was it.  

Eddie, you smart, smart man.

I was one of those rare college students who abstained from alcohol but still went to parties.  (With all due respect to my boys, the Phi Mu Alpha house, full of Star Wars posters and action figures, was definitely NOT the wildest place on campus, but that's probably why I felt safe there.)  Still, no matter the hour, I was always up to accompany an inebriated friend on a stumble off campus to Sheetz or Eddie's.

Because food.

Eddie was (is?) a character.  He was always in short sleeves, reaching into his bun warmer and slapping ketchup on lukewarm weenies.  He always miscounted change.  Always.  You could hand him a $5 bill for $3.15 worth of dogs, and you'd get $3.78 back in quarters and pennies.  And woe, woe, WOE to the unsuspecting student who commented snidely about the political news he always had on the TV.  Eddie was remarkably outspoken about politics.  And if a drunkenly slurred comment was slung his way, he was able to launch into a pretty impressive tirade about - whatever.  Immigration, the deficit, trade agreements.  

Stuff that drunk college students are really good at ignoring.  Or not.

On a few occasions, one of the more, um, belligerent of the fraternity brothers I was with decided that he wanted to get into a political debate with Eddie.  I left and sat on the shop's cold stoop, watching the misty midnight air swirl around the street lamp on the corner.

Those cheap little frankfurters were worth it, though.

Poor college kid chow.

So of course I thought I'd make one for The Hubbs.

Behold THE TACO DOG in its majestic, chili-smothered splendor!

Yeah...

...um, it was kind of awful.

I guess I just don't have The Eddie Touch.  

I used turkey dogs, which were probably 60 or 70 calories less than an authentic Eddie Dog.  I was really disappointed, especially because they were from Aldi and I really, really like most everything I've tried from Aldi.  The dogs themselves had kind of a funny aftertaste.  

I like to toast whole wheat buns and bread for sandwiches, which is exactly the opposite of the moist, limp, starchy white Eddie Dog buns.  Failure, again.

I used the Hormel chili with beans.  Also a mistake.  I remember Eddie's Taco Dogs being beanless.  

The cheese happened to be made with 2% milk and was acceptable.

The tortilla chips were slightly stale.

My husband ate two, then the last bite of the Faux Eddie Dog I left on my plate.  "These aren't that good," I apologized, but he shrugged.  "They're fine!"  He didn't seem to care, but I died a little inside.

I guess he'll never REALLY understand me, and I'll never understand that you do NOT mess with an original.

Pregnant and Pretty, Part One

I'm sure I am in the majority of pregnant women who prefer nothing more than wearing stretchy yoga pants, soft, comfy T-shirts, and pulling their hair up into messy buns.  Wait a minute...isn't that most women, pregnant or not?

Fun...but not functional (or safe) for a lady in her
 third trimester!  These can wait until after baby.
 Image from fabsugar.com.

Yup - it's one of those strange facts about being female.  Although we want to be as comfy as dudes in their well-worn jeans and 80s T-shirts, we make different choices for the sake of fashion.  Frequently, we love to wear gloriously gorgeous shoes that are impractically high, stunning dresses that force us to reposition our boobs every five minutes or so, and pants that require us to perform an awkward calisthenics routine just to get into them.  We like to feel pretty, and often the route to feeling pretty is a painful one.  I'm not being sexist here; I'm just speaking from personal experience and, if I may humbly say, I'm acting as the voice of many, not all, of my female friends.  We often suffer needlessly for the sake of beauty, and frequently, people never notice our efforts anyway!  (Unless things go horribly wrong and we trip over our mile-high stilettos like baby deer learning how to walk...)

At least, in the past few years, women's fashion has generally seemed to take a turn for "cute and comfy" over "pretty and painful".  I'm talking about boat shoes, thick-calf-friendly boots, surprisingly forgiving skinny jeans, knee-skimming shorts (hallelujah!), and the return of the cropped cardigan (great for modest chickies and/or fashionably frozen girls who insist on wearing sundresses when it's still 50 degrees outside).

The desire to feel pretty certainly doesn't go away when pregnancy comes along.  In fact, maybe it's even stronger! With the frequently ugly symptoms that come along with the efforts of growing a tiny human, it's only natural for a woman to want to feel both attractive and comfortable in her own skin - and her own clothes.  With that in mind, and with my own recent experience, I thought it might be fun to put together my own little fashion show for any girls out there who might be ripping through their closets in a panic, fearing what the next nine months might bring.

First, a little bit about me, if you didn't already know: even before I got pregnant, I was always a hard-to-fit size.  I'm five feet tall and quite curvy.  I'd lost a good deal of weight last year and was about a size four or six (small/medium) or so in ladies' clothing, maybe a seven or nine (medium/large) in juniors.  I won't share my measurements but, to be delicate, my bustline makes it very tough to buy properly-fitting button-down shirts, so there are very few in my wardrobe.  I joke that I easily have a supermodel's measurements; it's just too bad I don't have a supermodel's height!

I'm happy to report that many of my pre-pregnancy clothes have carried over well and I'm hoping they'll still work postpartum, too.  I like bright colors but am always comfortable in basic black with fun accessories.  Also: I'm extremely cheap.  Unlike my husband, who would rather invest $80 in a pair of well-crafted shoes that will get him through several years, I'm more likely to drop $15 on a pair of colorful flats that might wear out in a season or two, just because they're fun.  This is both a blessing and a curse, as female fashion is fickle.  Sometimes it's not worth investing in "quality" merchandise because trends change so quickly.  Then again, sometimes those cheap shoes are so darn uncomfortable that I only wear them a few times anyway.  With that in mind, I'm noting the pros and cons, as well as the approximate prices, of the items I'm featuring in my multi-part little fashion show, so you can decide for yourselves what's worth it and what's not!  

Before I even talk about the clothes, I wanted to mention a few other options we preggos now have.  Unlike lots of other women, I never used a BellaBand or anything like it.  If you don't know, these stretchy little numbers are meant to be worn snugly around your waist and hold up your unbuttoned jeans when you're still too small for regular maternity pants.  Since I have practically no waistline, and also because I bloated up pretty fast, I did not find these items useful or comfortable.  My jeans didn't fit at all past about the eighth week or so, so I didn't wear them.  Still, they are an investment to consider, especially during a first pregnancy when you might take quite some time to show, or if you have a very different body type than mine!

Another helpful accessory, near the end of your pregnancy, is a maternity belt.  They come in loads of sizes and styles, and help support your growing belly while relieving back strain.  You might consider purchasing a gently used one, as they can be quite expensive.

Some other things that benefitted me have been accessories!  Yes, the joy of the one-size-really-does-fit all scarf, the earrings that never get too tight, and the "I've-been-wearing-these-since-college" bangle bracelets! Since I like bold prints and funky jewelry, I've scoured discount stores for fun necklace sets, whimsical infinity scarves and even belly-friendly stretch belts.  These items are great for making statements and dressing up the inevitable boring but comfy maternity dress you can't live without, and the best part is that they'll stick with you well after the baby comes.  (Additional bonus: those flashy green and purple beaded earrings will be fascinating and stimulating for your little guy or girl during feedings!)

Image from jordanacosmetics.com

Another area in which I've been enjoying experimenting is with cosmetics.  Now, since most women find that their skin changes during pregnancy, I'm not advocating a total overhaul of your cleansing and beauty routine.  I'm one of the fortunate ones who has enjoyed (for the first time in 22 years) acne-free skin.  That's not to say I haven't had any problems; my skin is definitely less smooth now, and I've seen a few dark spots that are "supposed" to clear up after I deliver.  What's been fun is trying the new, super-vivid colors that are out now: bright corals, vampy reds, poppy oranges and bubble-gum pinks.  I love the new color balms that most companies have released lately.  They've got the coverage of lipsticks, but they apply and feel like glosses.  My favorites come from Jordana and Rimmel (surprise; they're also among the least expensive drug-store brands; Jordana is available at K-Mart and Walgreens and Rimmel is available nearly everywhere).  Bright colors, if you're comfortable with them, are a good way to draw attention from your belly to your face.  If you want to, that is!  Maybe you want your bump to play a starring role?  I'll address that in part two of this series!

The Much-Anticipated Disney Post!

It's been a few months, but I still wanted to share about the incredibly wonderful Disney vacation Ross and I enjoyed in October.  I posted all the pictures on Facebook, but several of my friends and family just aren't into that.  So, I'm adding some of them here.  It's hard to capture in words and pictures how awesome it was, but I'll try!

Ross and I hadn't been on a bona-fide vacation since our honeymoon to Texas in 2010.  We'd had a few weekend getaways, but nothing that was really spectacular.  After having a few very emotional months (both my mother and his grandmother passed away in 2013) we really wanted to do something special for ourselves last year.  So, we planned to head to Disney during the week of Ross's birthday.  He'd been there before, but I never had.  As the date of our departure approached, I turned into one of those little kids in the commercials I grew up with.  "I CAN'T SLEEP!"  We took the advice of several friends and carefully planned out our meals in advance, but were willing to "play it by ear" for most everything else.  I just wanted to explore the Happiest Place on Earth!

The weather was beautiful.  Other than a few sprinkles that Tuesday morning, we experienced pleasantly hot temperatures, usually in the mid-eighties or above.  (What a shock when we came back home to 40 degrees and cloudy skies!)

Birthday boy!

From the moment we boarded the bus - er, Magical Express - to head to the park, I could hardly believe I was there.  It's true - the staff at Disney is wonderfully welcoming, kind, and friendly.  Nearly every employee acknowledged Ross's "birthday boy" pin and was sure to wish him a special day.  We stayed at the charmingly kitschy Pop Century Resort, which was decorated with cutouts and loads of memorabilia from the 50's, 60's, 70's, 80's and 90's.  (We stayed in the 80's portion of the complex, like, totally.) 

Geek gathering grounds...

I'm the short one, in case you can't tell.

Our first stop was Hollywood Studios, where we saw the Muppets in 3-D, Ross created his own Star Wars-inspired droid, and I hopped on a speeder bike.  Thanks to my college friend Dave, who works pyrotechnics for the parks, we got front-row seating at the Indiana Jones Stunt Spectacular - and I ended up onstage as a volunteer!  That was very, very cool.  Ross's birthday meal was enjoyed at the supremely geeky Sci-Fi Diner, in which patrons are seated inside convertible cars facing a movie screen, drive-in style.  Clips from tacky, B-movies are shown, as well as advertisements from the 50's and 60's.  The meal was incredible.  I can say that about every scrap of food we ate in the parks!  Even the "fast food" was pretty special.  I ordered the salmon sandwich, which happened to be pretty much the size of my head, and Ross got a burger and the most delicious caramel apple pie milkshake I could ever imagine.  Plus dessert!  We were so full from that meal that we decided we'd probably be splitting our meals for the rest of the trip.  The meal plan is set up for you to do that, if you wish, and we figured it would be better to risk feeling a little hungry rather than being unable to move after eating!  (We certainly never went hungry, by the way!)

Nope. No Time Lords here...

Nothing like a man in a vest...

The next day, we headed to Epcot.  Ross achieved the rank of Junior Ranger when we visited Canada, and I fangirled all over myself when we saw that almost half of the gift shop in England consisted of Doctor Who merchandise.  We really enjoyed the street performers in France and Italy - mimes and musicians who were certainly more imaginative than what we Americans often assume!

LJS will never live up to this.

Reppin' the T.A.R.D.I.S.

Dave, Katie and their cute little girls!

When we had originally booked our reservations, we didn't realize that the International Food & Wine Festival was slated to occur when we were there.  I hadn't thought much of it, since Ross and I aren't big drinkers, but the more I read about it, the more interested I got.  Authentically-prepared traditional dishes from all over the world were being served in temporary booths, along with the regional foods offered in the permanent displays.  Over the course of the week, we tried fish 'n' chips and pale ale in a London pub, garlicky escargot and creamy-smooth caramel gelato in France, tempura and sushi in Japan, filet mignon with truffle sauce in Canada, kimchi dogs in Korea, mint tea and lamb shanks in Morocco, plus lots of other great food in the more traditionally American restaurants.  I would have to say that Epcot was my favorite place, since I love learning about history, other cultures, and - yep - ethnic foods.  We ended up there on three out of the five days we were in Disney!  The fireworks display on the lake, "Illuminations of Earth", was moving and very beautiful.  We ended up seeing that twice, as well; once on our own and once with Dave's lovely family.

Newlyweds!

She-Ra, eat your heart out.

On day three, we finally set off for the Magic Kingdom.  When you're surrounded by castles and fairy tale characters, it's easy to feel like a little kid, wanting nothing more than to put on your own crown and pretend to be a princess.  Which, as you can see in the picture, I did, of course.  Getting to meet one of my favorite princesses, Ariel, was a real treat.  We talked hair - what a surprise!  Something else that was very special, though, was that our newlywed friends Colleen and Adam, whose wedding we had to miss due to our vacation, were spending that day in Disney, and we were able to join them for lunch!  Talk about magical!  We decided on the relatively new "Be Our Guest" restaurant.  With its Beauty and the Beast themed décor and food, it was perfect for the French-speaking Colleen and myself.  And the boys?  They just wanted the roast beef sandwiches.  (Which, naturally, were fantastic.) 


He wears a fez now. 
Fezzes are cool.

Days for and five saw our return to Epcot, after a quick stop back at Hollywood Studios to ride the Toy Story arcade game (Ross kicked my butt when it came to high scores).  In Epcot, I was encouraged by the skywriting (see below) we saw over the park, though I know some people were probably irritated or offended.  I thought it was cool.  We finished our rounds at the Food & Wine Festival and met up with yet another old buddy - my former Starbucks co-worker, Jen! 


Unexpected and neat.  :-)

When we finally had to pack up our bags and say "bye-bye" to that famous mouse, I admit, I was ready to go home, but already thinking about returning to the park with our future children.  I was so impressed at how kid-friendly the park really is, with bathrooms on every corner, stroller "parking lots" and lots of kid-approved food that isn't all junk.  We'd like to come back when our kids are over three - which is great, because it will take us that long to save up again! 

So, not the next King of England. 
No biggie.   Still the king of my heart!

All in all, we had a real blast.  It was so much fun being there as a couple because our decisions were our own - not based on who had to potty, who was thirsty, and who wanted to see Princess Aurora RIGHT NOW.  We'll have that adventure a few years down the road.

In conclusion, here are my tips for folks who are considering a trip to Disney anytime soon. I'm certainly no travel guru, but I learned a few things that week!

1. Take advantage of the meal plan.  The portions are large; you can split meals with family.  If you're not hungry, you can "save" meals to eat later, or grab "to-go" food instead of eating at sit-down restaurants.  That being said, if there's a place you'd really like to try, book your dining reservation in advance!  We're talking like 3 months in advance. No joke; when we tried to make changes a few weeks before our trip, there were no reservations available in the entire park!

2. Wear comfortable shoes.  That seems like a no-brainer, but I brought shoes that I thought were comfortable, only to learn that they weren't really appropriate for 12 hours of walking in the hot sun.

3. Pick a time of year that the park will be less crowded.  According to our inside man, Dave, the park is practically devoid of life from the week after Thanksgiving until right before Christmas.  Our October visit was pretty nice, too.

4. Let the park employees take your picture!  Yes, it's expensive, but you don't have to buy any shots you don't like, plus your whole group actually gets to be in them, rather than taking awkward selfies in front of Cinderella's castle (trust me, they won't work very well).



Hulk SMASH the
 competition!

5. Do stop at Downtown Disney - without the kids.  It's more of an adult-friendly shopping area.  But if the kids insist...you can drop them off at the gigantic Lego store that is there.  That's where Ross and I spent most of our time, since we're pretty much 30-something children anyway.  It's where I met my new boyfriend.  He's big and green.

6. Take advantage of Magic Bands (they serve as room keys, identification, tokens, and allow purchases to be made) and Fast Passes.  I can't stress this enough!  Ross and I joked that the seemingly limitless capabilities of the Magic Bands made them Disney's version of the Mark of the Beast, but they were extremely helpful in navigating the parks and allowed us to focus on fun, not where our key cards had been left, or where our credit cards were.  Fast Passes allow quick access to certain rides during certain times.  Consider getting the MyDisneyExperience app for your phone as well, which allows you to make and cancel reservations, gives to real-time wait times in all the parks, lets you know about special events, and allows you to book up to three Fast Passes per guest per day in advance.  It also serves as GPS when you're within the park.

6. There's no shame in dressing like your favorite character.  No matter how old you are!

Sometimes, vacation selfies are okay.


(Please note that all photographs published in this post are the sole property of the author.  You may share the link to the page but you may NOT REPOST any individual pictures without permission.  Thank you for your consideration.)

Blog Bit: Stuff My Cats Do (Part Two)

Loki plays fetch. 

At first, I genuinely thought it was a fluke.  What self-respecting feline, after all, would play with humans as a simple-minded dog might?  But then, Loki isn't exactly a self-respecting feline.

She's pretty much half dog and half skunk.

Thankfully, though, that "half skunk" part is diminishing, as we recently changed the cats' dry food to an indoor variety.  Up until about two weeks ago, I swear, that animal smelled like the devil's feet.  The odors coming out of her were otherworldly.  She farted when she got excited...when she was startled...when Ross came home (she loves him)...when she was picked up...so, pretty much, she farted dozens of times daily.

Ick.

But about that dog half...

Two weeks ago, when I was in the kitchen baking (unusual for me), I noticed that Loki had gotten yet another one of my hair elastics (I practially buy a new package every month, thanks to her) and was playing with it noisily on the floor.  A little frustrated at her claws tap-tap-tapping on the floor, I picked the thing up and tossed it into the basement.  She shot after it.  Then I returned to the counter.  I turned around, and she had already flown back up the stairs and deposited the elastic at my feet.



Loki with her preferred human companion.

Freak, I thought, and kicked it back downstairs.  Down and back, like a rocket.  I abandoned my baking and kept throwing the elastic.  We went back and forth maybe nine or ten times before she flopped down on the floor, tired.

That was cute, and kind of creepy, I mused.  Cats do strange things all the time; it's part of their nature to be spontaneous in the most inconvenient and odd ways.  Like the time I saw Thor puff for no reason and start to dance sideways.  Or the time he licked the shower walls for, like, an hour.  Or when the house is perfectly silent, and they leap to their feet out of a dead sleep and fly through the kitchen like furry meteors after each other.

The next day, I was making dinner and listening to an old radio program and there she was again, begging to play.  She even danced around like dogs do when they realize they're about to get some attention.  I threw the elastic and ignored her, but she added another rule to the game.  I was no longer allowed to ignore her, as she kept nuzzling against my feet and legs until I played.  This was a clearly new tactic; Loki is extremely affectionate, but she is not a leg nuzzler!  Perhaps she had seen Thor employ this clever strategy in order to snag a piece of ham or glob of tuna from me while I was cooking!  She was perhaps less simple than we had originally guessed.

Anyway, long story short, Loki and I have played fetch maybe seven or eight times in the past two weeks.  She's particular that we play with the elastics; even her small mouse toy won't make it back up the stairs with her.  And they have to be thrown down the stairs.  If I throw them into the other room, she won't bring them back to me.

So, fetch.  On her own terms.  I guess she's still a cat after all.

Now Leaving The Shire...

Very few people appeared to be over 35 years old.  The vast majority were short, dark-haired and wearing glasses.  The girls were in simple clothes - drab coats, skinny jeans, and functional boots.  The guys wore Star Wars or Avengers T-shirts.  Some wore suspenders.  There was pleasant and polite chit-chat among the fans as they nibbled on popcorn and rattled boxes of Milk Duds (okay, the Milk Dud rattler was my husband).  Someone booed at an advertisement for Twilight-themed gift cards.

It was nice to be among my people.

I'm still a little surprised that we were able to get tickets - even a week in advance, one of the midnight showings at our favorite theatre was already sold out.  Ross and I nabbed tickets for the 3-D showing against my better judgment.  I might be a Geek Girl, but generally I can take or leave 3-D.  Like roller coasters.  They're fine and all, but I prefer not to be involved with them, thanks. 

Plus, paying $14 for a movie ticket gives me a rash.

Still, we packed our buckets of snacks like good little Hobbits (I brought homemade chocolate cupcakes in my giant purse) and struggled to find two seats together.  Pastor Stephanie had given up a heads-up that they had opened the theatre two hours in advance, and even at 11:00, she and her family had to split up because most of the seats were already taken!  We ended up sitting near the front, to the far left.  Which I disliked.  But hey...what are you going to do?  At least it wasn't the front row.

The previews seemed to last longer than usual - or maybe we were all just chomping at the bit after over a year of tantalizing trailers and teasers.  Although, I did let out an audible "Squee!" when they previewed the upcoming Star Trek movie.  With Benedict Cumberbatch as The Ultimate Bad Guy.  Mentally I prepared a summer's worth of dates with Ross - most of them centering around science fiction or superhero movies.

Not that he'd mind.

I won't release any spoilers here.  No, really.  'Cause I absolutely despise it when we Whovians who have some, er, catching up to do accidentally read the spoilers that are vomited all over Pinterest and tumblr!  So, no, I won't do that to anyone.

All I will say is that Martin Freeman was born to play Bilbo Baggins.  That should come as no surprise to anyone who's already planning on seeing the movie - or anyone who's ever seen him act in, like, anything.  Tiny, itty-bitty almost-spoiler alert: there is a brief scene featuring various woodland creatures being helped by a kooky wizard.  One animal present is a small hedgehog.  There are rampant internet comparisons of Martin Freeman to hedgehogs and Benedict Cumberbatch to otters (if you're a Sherlock fan, you get this...if not, move along).  Therefore, I could not help but miss Sherlock during that scene and wonder why the BBC is trying to destroy my life by slowly devouring it with excellent programming.  Moving on...there was a great deal more comedy and light-hearted banter in this movie, as compared to the Lord of the Rings trilogy.  There are a few gentle nods to the other movies, but this is very easily a stand-alone movie, for anyone whose husband (or wife, for that matter) might be goading them into a sci-fi or fantasy movie night.

Because beards turn any story
into an epic!

Speaking from a conservative perspective, for anyone who might have teenage or pre-teen fans in the house, I'll say that in general there is less violence than LoTR.  However, it does look more realistic because of the technological advancements made since the trilogy was released.   Tiny, itty-bitty almost-spoiler alert: there are several body parts chopped off in this movie.  Bad guys' body parts, of course, but it might be jarring to younger viewers.  There's not a lot of blood, though.  On the flip side, the presentation of the dwarves in this movie is quite different than the Gimli we meet elsewhere, and makes for a more "fun" fellowship than surly Sean Bean and L'Oreal spokes-elf Legolas.

So, basically, I'm saying: go see it.  The 3-D is pretty darn neat, but it's not necessary for the enjoyment of the film.  The great acting, humor, beautiful scenery and spectacular CG take care of that.