Crazy Cat Lady

I do not believe in ghosts.  Or that the spirits of the dead can inhabit the bodies of the living.  I do, however, believe that spiritual gifts can be passed from one generation to another.

Freyja's new toy.  :-/

Now, granted, I don't recall that "talking to animals" is listed among any spiritual gifts in the New Testament.  Nevertheless, I'm thinking that, just maybe, upon her passing, my mom's uncanny and often freakish ability to connect with animals may have fallen upon my shoulders.

I mean, I held a chipmunk the other day.  That's, like, Disney Princess level animal communication, right?!

I guess maybe it's more of a mutant power than a spiritual gift.

My mom, to my recollection, was never a social butterfly.  She was certainly good with people, especially when she worked in the service industry.  But she was never, ever a "let's chat over a cappuccino" kind of girl.  Especially in her later years, I think she preferred the company of animals to people.  I mean, can you blame her?  Scroll through your Facebook feed for thirty seconds if you still wonder a person might like dogs better than humans.

My mom rescued a groundhog who had gotten his head stuck in a jelly jar.  My mom taught our adopted mutt to obey commands that she spelled.  My mom caught and freed panicked hummingbirds that had gotten trapped in our garage.  My mom had four neighborhood pups trained to line up on her porch for treats twice a day.  My mom nursed a mostly-dead tomcat back to full-fluffed, glossy and shiny health, despite repeated suggestions that she let the local vet "put that thing out of its misery".  I am fairly certain that my mom could have taught a fish to sing or a rabbit to brew her tea.  My mom had a gift.

Granted, I fell head-over-heels in love with my sweet Thor long before we lost my mom, and we adopted our snuggly Loki months before she passed away.  Yes, I cuddle them, even when I am wearing black (Thor in particular enjoys leaving his soft gray brand of fluff all over the house).  Yes, I have long, detailed conversations with them.  I also baby-talk to them.  I sometimes even let them sleep with me.  But. . .

. . .Twoper - now Freyja - didn't stroll back into my life until after my mom was gone.  I wouldn't be surprised if she'd asked God to send us just one more kitty to love - one cat to temporarily fill the void left after each of our lost pregnancies.  Three fur-babies to love.  Freyja will be getting a visit to the vet in the next few weeks, if we can set aside the money, and she'll be moving from Porch Cat to her rightful place as a Cat of Asgard.  She is certainly the gentlest cat I've ever met.  In the more than six weeks that she has been hanging around my house, not once has she scratched, swatted, or bit at Ross or me - or anyone else.  In fact, during our Geek Gala, she positioned herself like a tiny, loaf-shaped sentry in the middle of the porch and saw our guests out with a rumbly meow.  I love to cuddle with her and scratch her back.

Last week, when Ross and I were leaving Target, we encountered a man about our age holding an absolutely gorgeous gray and black kitten.  "You guys want a cat?" he asked.  I must have looked shocked, because he hurriedly continued, "I found her by Chick-Fil-A and I gave her some food and now she won't leave me alone."  Sure enough, when he placed her on the ground, she sniffed at Ross, then our truck, and rubbed up against me, but lingered nearby.  Of course I wanted her!  Ross even had the same look on his face that he did when we impulsivelyadopted Loki.  But four cats?  With one not even house-trained yet?  "I'm sorry," I said sadly, "We just adopted out local stray, or else we'd take her."  "That's what happened to us!  That's how we got our cat," the guy replied enthusiastically.  At least we could tell he was a cat-friendly person.  As we reluctantly left, I prayed that the little girl would end up in a home that really needed the unconditional love of a pet.

Loki is a Jedi.

That's the thing about cats, people.  Yes, they do have a reputation for being aloof, solitary, and, thanks to internet-sensation Tardar Sauce (AKA Grumpy Cat), even arrogant.  Some are, I guess.  Unlike those cats of world wide web fame, Loki is flat-out sociable.  She jumps into the laps of people who are trying to eat at my dinner table.  She spent all of last month's party in the middle of the living room, politely perched on a pillow or examining vacant chairs.  She plays fetch with her woefully ragged cloth mice (the last gift my mom had picked out for them before she died).  She is curious and desperately cuddly (some of the time).  Thor, I guess, is more your typical housecat.  He is irritated by changes in routine; he's possessive; he's often dismissive.  He thinks he's the alpha male, but he doesn't really act like it.  But with me, he's a bundle of loving fluff.  He curls up on my chest at night, before I go to bed, and demands that I put my phone down to nuzzle his nose.  He'll flop on the couch and watch television with me.  He lets me flip him on his back and stick my face in his bunny-soft belly fur.  He lets me clip his claws with absolutely no protest.  He even lets us bathe him

Thor is a superhero.

with minimal fuss.  And it was Thor who came to me when I learned of my friend Linda's passing, and he sat with me on the bathroom floor until I was done crying.

Freyja will  likely have her own set of quirks when she moves in.  I can't wait to see how she lets us love her, and how she shows her love in return.

Yes, this formerly skeptical girl has become a full-blown crazy cat lady.  Apparently, contrary to popular opinion, being happily married does not prevent this condition.  Even my baby sis, dog-mom to the Unreasonably Huge Mutt, Tex, admits that her recently-adopted kitten, Ranger, has wormed his way into her heart and become a part of her family much faster than she expected.

All I can say is "told you so!"

Three

Looks like the family might be expanding very soon.

Why, it's another cat, of course!

For those of you who follow me on Instagram or Twitter, or who are friends with me on Facebook, you already know about the latest little four-legged sweetie to enter our lives.  But, for those of you who don't, I'll fill you in on the soft, fluffy details...

Three years ago, fairly soon after Ross and I got married and over a year before Thor showed up (literally) on our doorstep, a small, gray and tan female cat stopped by.  She visited over the course of a few weeks, staying long enough for a little snack and some kind words.  Once, she actually came into the house!  We didn't have any cat food for her, so we poured a saucer of milk.  Hence, her nickname: Two Percent Milk, or Twoper, for short, was born.  A few days after she came into our house, we saw her for the final time, sporting a fancy brand-new pink collar around her neck. 

I was crushed.  She had an owner?  Humph.  If I had a cat, I thought, I'd never it roam the neighborhood.  I knew a lot of people did that; even my childhood pets were indoor-outdoor cats until they became old, but I never liked it.  In fact, one cat ended up dying from eating poisoned garbage and another was hit by a car.  No way were my fur-babies going outside unless it was straight into the car for a trip to the vet!

About a year or so later, Thor came into our lives, then we adopted Loki during a Humane Society event.  Both have turned out to be pretty amazing animals we can't imagine life without.  Thor is moody but a mama's boy and a real cuddle-bug, and Loki, while clumsy, has shown an incredible ability to learn tricks, just like a dog.  We're a perfect little family right now - Mommy-Cat, Daddy-Cat, and the two feuding fur-babies.

Imagine my surprise, then, when I saw the unmistakable figure of Twoper on my porch just recently!  Of course I fed her and pet her.  She's a sociable and very affectionate little girl.  She's talkative and purrs loudly.  And I noticed that she was not wearing a collar.  I didn't think anything at first - sometimes Thor, who does not wear a collar inside the house, slips outside unnoticed for a quick jog around the neighborhood (but he always returns to use the litter box; despite being born and spending his first weeks of life as an outside cat, he categorically refuses to use anything except his litter box for his business).  I pet her again, called her a good girl, and went back inside.

The next day she returned. 

In fact, in the past two and a half weeks, only one or two days have gone by without her visiting.  And it's not a quick stop by to suck down some Fancy Feast before she's on her way, either.  She is waiting for me in the morning when I wake up and she sits on a specific corner of the porch while I am at work, running down the steps to greet me when I come home.  She has tried to follow me into the house numerous times (once she succeeded!).  She lets me pick her up and hold her.  (For those of you concerned with diseases and whatnot, I wash my hands after every time I touch her and she has had no contact with my indoor cats; nor will she until the vet clears her for any kind of infection or infestation.)  In fact, last Friday, for kicks, I put a collar on her to see if her "real" owners would remove it when she returned home.  (Wouldn't you freak out of your previously naked kitty suddenly came home with a swanky new leather collar and a bell?  Wouldn't you wonder who was trying to steal your cat-kid?!)  Well, it's Wednesday night now, and the collar is still intact.

I'm starting to call her Freyja now.  Twoper is certainly a cute nickname with a cute story behind it, but if this sweet little girl is gonna run with my fur-babies, she'll need a name worthy of the other Cats of Asgard.

I've contacted my vet already to see what steps we should take, and also placed an ad on craigslist to see if anyone has reported her missing.  I'm trying to do the right thing before adding to my menagerie.  I think my parents think I'm nuts for adopting all these cats, but I'm stopping at three.  For me, I'm temporarily replacing each of the three biological children I have lost.  I'm not giving up on having babies, but right now I have a lot of love to give, and these little friends are a great way to do that!  Frankly, I wouldn't be surprised if my mom, in Heaven, leaned over to God and said, "They look lonely.  How about another cat until it's time for the baby?"

I'm a proud cat-mom, right here, folks.  Twelve little paws pattering around the house?  I think it will sound beautiful.

(Get back to me around Christmas, though...when I'm lamenting all my broken ornaments...)