It's with a disappointed heart that I share the following: this blog is going on hiatus until further notice.
I've been writing. I have. It's not that I have neglected my art. Most of what I have been writing has wound up in the mouths of my teenage actors. I've been writing new plays for them every 6 to 8 weeks or so, and I also feel that the time has come for me to resurrect some of my older skits and plays and give them new life.
In addition, I feel that God is calling me to do a new thing in my life, something that will require me to stretch my faith, embrace my gifts, and trust him in an area of my life that I've always considered a hobby, rather than a professions. I am not ready to share this new goal just yet, but it will - God willing - involve me reaching out to others like myself to cultivate the link between the dramatic arts and the church.
I want to thank those of you who have read, commented, encouraged and supported me from my first social media posts (yep - myspace) until now. You have helped carry me through times when I doubted my talent, doubted that I had anything worthwhile to say. After many years, I believe I am finding my voice, and I know what I want to share.
I still have novels and skits and poems in my head that may never come out, but it's time I sat down at the computer and let them have a real fighting chance to do just that.
I'm not ready to seal up this chapter of my life just yet, so I'm keeping my "good-bye" open-ended. It's entirely possible that my path will bring me back here with a lot more to say. But, for now, I need to step back and give my increasingly limited free time to the words that have been locked in my head for too long.
May God's love sustain you, may you never run out of coffee, and may every cat you encounter remind you of me.
Signing off for now,
Rebecca L. Godlove
Showing posts with label future. Show all posts
Showing posts with label future. Show all posts
Sunday, April 17, 2016
Saturday, July 27, 2013
Nibble, Nibble
A lot has been going on in my life lately. As I mentioned in my previous post, after six months of unemployment, I am now working full time again - and I'm loving it! Working at a pediatric office is not my dream job, but I have to say that it's surprisingly fulfilling. I admit that seeing all the newborns gets tough because of what I have gone through, but I get to see some pretty inspirational things, too. I children with special needs whose parents are 100% invested in their growth and development - no matter how different or difficult that might prove. I see men taking responsibility for their children and refusing to be just another "baby daddy". I enjoy interacting with the kids - especially the ones who haven't yet equated the notion of the doctor with the pain of a shot. They're fearless, and quite a bit of fun.
Along with the sense of peace brought by being a "productive" member of society again, my job has given me another opportunity for which I am deeply grateful - an hour-long lunch break. I don't use these sixty precious moments to socialize, but, for the first time in a very, very long time, I use them to exercise. Although I started counting calories over seven months ago, I hadn't added exercise to my plan until three months ago, when I started working again. The changes in my body, attitude, and health have been mind-blowing. I even got the chance to write about what I am experiencing on the practice's website! I've lost seventeen pounds (give or take) and two jeans sizes. I even did the unthinkable (for me) and signed up for a Couch to 5K program, which started this week.
When I look at the progress I've made this year in the area of my health, I'm both very proud and very grateful. I know that God has been with me during the whole process, even though I haven't talked to him about it a lot. But when I sit back adn examine other areas of my life, I'm very disappointed. For instance: my writing.
I call myself a writer. In my head, that looks a lot like this: I use every spare moment to scribble on napkins, in notebooks, on my own skin the ideas that leap into my consciousness; I rollphrases around in my mind and on my tongue; I have conversations with characters that exist only in my imagination; I relish in sitting down before a blank screen and bleeding words until that screen is full of perfect little rows of beautiful black letters.
But, actually - at least lately - it's looked a lot more like this: I think about my blog and my two novels-in-progress while I'm power-walking on my lunch break, then I come home and have dinner, change into my pajamas, and watch Netflix (the show of the hour is currently Twin Peaks, since the parents wouldn't let me watch it the first time around).
ThenI I feel bad about my lack of writing, and plan to make up for it the next day.
Which, of course, never happens.
Well, I'm going to do something that I've never done before, and take a cue from my own success. In regards to my health, I had determined to take things slow, one step at a time, and actually stop believing that change was impossible. I set goals that were reasonable for me. I took things one day at a time, one decision at a time, and, when I made poor choices, I forgave myself quickly and started anew the next day. Instead of ripping off huge chunks, I was nibbling away at my goals, allowing myself to adjust to a different lifestyle.
I'm going to "nibble" at my writing, too. Finishing two full-length novels and blogging regularly - well, that's a lot to handle, especially when I have the ridiculous mindset that all of my blog posts have to be life-changing - or at the very least, completely thought-out, rehearsed, and flawlessly edited. Not that they always are, of course. But perfectionism will do that to you.
I'm going to "allow" myself to post blogs that are neither deep nor meaningful. I might even post some short stories or creative writing. Poetry. Movie reviews. I will not post anything that violates my stated purpose - to encourage and inspire. But maybe it would be good to start "nibbling" away at my dream again.
It might even taste sweeter that way.
Along with the sense of peace brought by being a "productive" member of society again, my job has given me another opportunity for which I am deeply grateful - an hour-long lunch break. I don't use these sixty precious moments to socialize, but, for the first time in a very, very long time, I use them to exercise. Although I started counting calories over seven months ago, I hadn't added exercise to my plan until three months ago, when I started working again. The changes in my body, attitude, and health have been mind-blowing. I even got the chance to write about what I am experiencing on the practice's website! I've lost seventeen pounds (give or take) and two jeans sizes. I even did the unthinkable (for me) and signed up for a Couch to 5K program, which started this week.
When I look at the progress I've made this year in the area of my health, I'm both very proud and very grateful. I know that God has been with me during the whole process, even though I haven't talked to him about it a lot. But when I sit back adn examine other areas of my life, I'm very disappointed. For instance: my writing.
I call myself a writer. In my head, that looks a lot like this: I use every spare moment to scribble on napkins, in notebooks, on my own skin the ideas that leap into my consciousness; I rollphrases around in my mind and on my tongue; I have conversations with characters that exist only in my imagination; I relish in sitting down before a blank screen and bleeding words until that screen is full of perfect little rows of beautiful black letters.
But, actually - at least lately - it's looked a lot more like this: I think about my blog and my two novels-in-progress while I'm power-walking on my lunch break, then I come home and have dinner, change into my pajamas, and watch Netflix (the show of the hour is currently Twin Peaks, since the parents wouldn't let me watch it the first time around).
ThenI I feel bad about my lack of writing, and plan to make up for it the next day.
Which, of course, never happens.
Well, I'm going to do something that I've never done before, and take a cue from my own success. In regards to my health, I had determined to take things slow, one step at a time, and actually stop believing that change was impossible. I set goals that were reasonable for me. I took things one day at a time, one decision at a time, and, when I made poor choices, I forgave myself quickly and started anew the next day. Instead of ripping off huge chunks, I was nibbling away at my goals, allowing myself to adjust to a different lifestyle.
I'm going to "nibble" at my writing, too. Finishing two full-length novels and blogging regularly - well, that's a lot to handle, especially when I have the ridiculous mindset that all of my blog posts have to be life-changing - or at the very least, completely thought-out, rehearsed, and flawlessly edited. Not that they always are, of course. But perfectionism will do that to you.
I'm going to "allow" myself to post blogs that are neither deep nor meaningful. I might even post some short stories or creative writing. Poetry. Movie reviews. I will not post anything that violates my stated purpose - to encourage and inspire. But maybe it would be good to start "nibbling" away at my dream again.
It might even taste sweeter that way.
Monday, October 29, 2012
Radio Blessing
Last week, I had the opportunity to visit my sister in Edinboro. Because she doesn't drive and our schedules rarely mesh (she works odd hours for the food industry and, until recently, I was working daylight hours), we see each other maybe once a year. I decided to capitalize on having a completely open schedule and see if there would be a good time to visit her.
Lo and behold; there was!
Last Wednesday, after my husband insisted I have my car's oil changed, I drove for two lovely and autumnal foliage-filled hours up to my sister's place. As I had some time completely to myself, I prayed a bit and asked God for direction. I asked him to help me to do the things I know he has called me to do - mostly, to write. I have two ideas for novels that I really believe have come from him, and I love to write, but I find it very difficult to set aside blocks of time to write and edit. It's like, I will get these kicks where I sit and whole scenes or ideas just flow through me and I am so proud of myself, and feel so accomplished...but then I will allow days to pass before I even think of writing again. I hate that about myself. I'm pretty sure, though, I am not the only person who feels like that in one way or another. Some folks might feel that way about other crafts or hobbies, or exercise (yeah, I'm in that boat, too), or maybe about cooking or baking (you know what I mean...the day-long epic cookie/muffin/bread marathon...then nothing home-made for months).
And, in a way that I haven't experienced for some time, God answered me: immediately, lovingly, and boldly.
The road to Edinboro is littered with mediocre country music, talk radio, and a handful of crummy pop stations. I spent a good 25 minutes just flipping between stations, trying to find something decent that wasn't marred by static. I caught the word "discipline" on a Christian broadcast and thought maybe I should keep listening. The speaker was Chip Ingram. I hadn't really heard of him before, but his message was powerful and completely relevant for my current situation.
His short sermon, which was geared toward a small-group setting, was about discipline, goal-setting, and that much-despised concept in today's society: delayed gratification. The main thrust of the message was a very simple but eye-opening one - for me, at least. It was this: self-control and discipline are not about denying ourselves so much as they are about foregoing temporal pleasures for a much more wonderful future goal.
This really hit home for me because I really struggle with instant gratification. If I come into money, I want to spend it immediately. It's not always on frivolous, selfish treats, mind you, but I'm more likely to buy a few cute pairs of cheap, trendy shoes than I am to save up for a really classy, well-made pair. And, as for dieting, well, can I get an "amen"? It's so hard for me to envision a future where I really am my ideal weight, and where food is more about satisfation and nutrition than about "OMGthisissogoodIneedtoeatthewholeboxrightnow".
Chip's message was about forgetting the idea that we are depriving ourselves - whether it is with food, pleasure, free time, whatever. Instead, we are making a "down payment" on a goal that, for us, is much more important and, ultimately, satisfying, than whatever it is we're currently denying. I think that might really help with healthier eating. For example, cookies really taste delicious, but my goal is to be healthy and avoid the health problems that plague my family. Since the cookie doesn't contribute to that goal, it gets skipped over - or, at least, consumed in moderation. This could apply to the job market, too. For people who want to move ahead in their fields or move into new ones, reviewing each potential new task this way could really help. If it's optional, of course. I'm hardly saying to say "no" to staying late one night because it's not in your ultimate plan.
For me, my ultimate goal in this lifetime is to be a full-time writer. (Okay, it's really to be a mom, but it seems like those plans are on hold right now.) I want to publish the family-friendly plays I have written. I want to finish the stories and novels I have constantly banging around in my head.
For me, the hindrances are...well, yeah. Facebook. Instagram. Wikipedia. The internet: the tool that I could be using as a force for good, um, is using me as a force for apathy and obsession and otherwise diffusing the well-meant dedication I always have when I start out.
I like thinking about self-discipline this way. It's not about punishing ourselves for having desires. It's denying the immediate "wants" so that the ultimate result is much, much more satisfying. It's about putting the flesh on hold so that it can truly and wholly enjoy what is on the way.
To that end, I'm going to write reminders to myself and post them all over my house. Even on my mirrors. So that when I get ready in the morning (or whenever I get around to getting ready), I can look myself in the eye and say, "Don't settle for less than the best. Even if it takes a while to get here!"
Lo and behold; there was!
Last Wednesday, after my husband insisted I have my car's oil changed, I drove for two lovely and autumnal foliage-filled hours up to my sister's place. As I had some time completely to myself, I prayed a bit and asked God for direction. I asked him to help me to do the things I know he has called me to do - mostly, to write. I have two ideas for novels that I really believe have come from him, and I love to write, but I find it very difficult to set aside blocks of time to write and edit. It's like, I will get these kicks where I sit and whole scenes or ideas just flow through me and I am so proud of myself, and feel so accomplished...but then I will allow days to pass before I even think of writing again. I hate that about myself. I'm pretty sure, though, I am not the only person who feels like that in one way or another. Some folks might feel that way about other crafts or hobbies, or exercise (yeah, I'm in that boat, too), or maybe about cooking or baking (you know what I mean...the day-long epic cookie/muffin/bread marathon...then nothing home-made for months).
And, in a way that I haven't experienced for some time, God answered me: immediately, lovingly, and boldly.
The road to Edinboro is littered with mediocre country music, talk radio, and a handful of crummy pop stations. I spent a good 25 minutes just flipping between stations, trying to find something decent that wasn't marred by static. I caught the word "discipline" on a Christian broadcast and thought maybe I should keep listening. The speaker was Chip Ingram. I hadn't really heard of him before, but his message was powerful and completely relevant for my current situation.
His short sermon, which was geared toward a small-group setting, was about discipline, goal-setting, and that much-despised concept in today's society: delayed gratification. The main thrust of the message was a very simple but eye-opening one - for me, at least. It was this: self-control and discipline are not about denying ourselves so much as they are about foregoing temporal pleasures for a much more wonderful future goal.
This really hit home for me because I really struggle with instant gratification. If I come into money, I want to spend it immediately. It's not always on frivolous, selfish treats, mind you, but I'm more likely to buy a few cute pairs of cheap, trendy shoes than I am to save up for a really classy, well-made pair. And, as for dieting, well, can I get an "amen"? It's so hard for me to envision a future where I really am my ideal weight, and where food is more about satisfation and nutrition than about "OMGthisissogoodIneedtoeatthewholeboxrightnow".
Chip's message was about forgetting the idea that we are depriving ourselves - whether it is with food, pleasure, free time, whatever. Instead, we are making a "down payment" on a goal that, for us, is much more important and, ultimately, satisfying, than whatever it is we're currently denying. I think that might really help with healthier eating. For example, cookies really taste delicious, but my goal is to be healthy and avoid the health problems that plague my family. Since the cookie doesn't contribute to that goal, it gets skipped over - or, at least, consumed in moderation. This could apply to the job market, too. For people who want to move ahead in their fields or move into new ones, reviewing each potential new task this way could really help. If it's optional, of course. I'm hardly saying to say "no" to staying late one night because it's not in your ultimate plan.
For me, my ultimate goal in this lifetime is to be a full-time writer. (Okay, it's really to be a mom, but it seems like those plans are on hold right now.) I want to publish the family-friendly plays I have written. I want to finish the stories and novels I have constantly banging around in my head.
For me, the hindrances are...well, yeah. Facebook. Instagram. Wikipedia. The internet: the tool that I could be using as a force for good, um, is using me as a force for apathy and obsession and otherwise diffusing the well-meant dedication I always have when I start out.
I like thinking about self-discipline this way. It's not about punishing ourselves for having desires. It's denying the immediate "wants" so that the ultimate result is much, much more satisfying. It's about putting the flesh on hold so that it can truly and wholly enjoy what is on the way.
To that end, I'm going to write reminders to myself and post them all over my house. Even on my mirrors. So that when I get ready in the morning (or whenever I get around to getting ready), I can look myself in the eye and say, "Don't settle for less than the best. Even if it takes a while to get here!"
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